Revise a draft for what matters most
Grade 11 Reading Worksheet
Circle the best answer.
Read this first
Use this
A Meadow for Willow Bend (proposal draft to the volunteer board of an invented nature center): [1] The Willow Bend Nature Center mows about two acres of lawn between its parking lot and its main trail every week from May to October. [2] This proposal asks the board to approve turning one of those acres into a meadow of native wildflowers and grasses next spring.
[3] The implementation of a reduction in mowing frequency would result in the facilitation of habitat establishment for a diversity of pollinator taxa, including bees, butterflies and moths. [4] Native plants such as milkweed, bee balm and goldenrod produce nectar and pollen across the summer, and milkweed is the only plant on which monarch caterpillars can feed. [5] A meadow would also cut the center's mowing costs, which last year came to about $3,200 for fuel, repairs and staff time. [6] The staff estimate that preparing and seeding one acre would cost about $2,400 in the first year, mostly for native seed. [7] After the first two years, a meadow usually needs mowing only once a year, in late fall or early spring.
[8] Some visitors may at first think an unmowed meadow looks untidy, so the plan includes a mowed path and two signs explaining what the meadow is for. [9] Volunteers from the Willow Bend Garden Club have offered to help with planting, and three local schools have asked to use the meadow for field lessons. [10] Notwithstanding the anticipated initial establishment period, during which floral abundance is expected to remain low relative to subsequent seasons, long-term outcomes are projected to be favorable. [11] In its first summer the meadow will look patchy, because many native perennials spend their first year growing roots. [12] By the third summer, the meadow should be in bloom from June to September.
[13] The board's approval at its March meeting would allow seed to be ordered in time for planting in late April. [14] The center's director, Ms. Okonjo, and its grounds manager, Mr. Tabb, will be glad to answer questions before the vote.
Luz wants the volunteer board to understand sentence 3 at a glance. Which revision is plain and keeps its precise meaning?
- Mowing less often would give many kinds of bees, butterflies and moths a place to live and feed.
- Mowing less often would be better for nature.
- Mowing less often would give bees, butterflies and moths a place to live and double their numbers.
- A reduction in mowing would facilitate the establishment of habitat for a diversity of pollinators.
Tala is rewriting sentence 4 for the center's newsletter to families with young children. Which version fits that reader?
- Bees go totally wild for milkweed and its flower friends, and monarch babies are super picky eaters!
- Flowers like milkweed, bee balm and goldenrod feed bees and butterflies all summer, and monarch caterpillars can eat only milkweed.
- Flowers like milkweed, bee balm and goldenrod feed bees and butterflies all summer long.
- Native plants such as milkweed, bee balm and goldenrod produce nectar and pollen across the summer, and milkweed is the only plant on which monarch caterpillars can feed.
Use this
A Meadow for Willow Bend (proposal draft to the volunteer board of an invented nature center): [1] The Willow Bend Nature Center mows about two acres of lawn between its parking lot and its main trail every week from May to October. [2] This proposal asks the board to approve turning one of those acres into a meadow of native wildflowers and grasses next spring.
[3] The implementation of a reduction in mowing frequency would result in the facilitation of habitat establishment for a diversity of pollinator taxa, including bees, butterflies and moths. [4] Native plants such as milkweed, bee balm and goldenrod produce nectar and pollen across the summer, and milkweed is the only plant on which monarch caterpillars can feed. [5] A meadow would also cut the center's mowing costs, which last year came to about $3,200 for fuel, repairs and staff time. [6] The staff estimate that preparing and seeding one acre would cost about $2,400 in the first year, mostly for native seed. [7] After the first two years, a meadow usually needs mowing only once a year, in late fall or early spring.
[8] Some visitors may at first think an unmowed meadow looks untidy, so the plan includes a mowed path and two signs explaining what the meadow is for. [9] Volunteers from the Willow Bend Garden Club have offered to help with planting, and three local schools have asked to use the meadow for field lessons. [10] Notwithstanding the anticipated initial establishment period, during which floral abundance is expected to remain low relative to subsequent seasons, long-term outcomes are projected to be favorable. [11] In its first summer the meadow will look patchy, because many native perennials spend their first year growing roots. [12] By the third summer, the meadow should be in bloom from June to September.
[13] The board's approval at its March meeting would allow seed to be ordered in time for planting in late April. [14] The center's director, Ms. Okonjo, and its grounds manager, Mr. Tabb, will be glad to answer questions before the vote.
Planned changes: (1) Put the first-year cost and the yearly saving side by side: $2,400 once against $3,200 a year. (2) Replace “untidy” in sentence 8 with “messy.” (3) Add a list of every insect seen on the lawn last summer. (4) Put the title in bold type.
Jun wants the board to see that the meadow pays for itself. Which planned change, listed below the proposal, matters most for that purpose?
- Change 1, because setting the costs side by side shows the board that the meadow pays for itself.
- Change 4, because a bold title makes the proposal easier to find in the board's packet.
- Change 3, because a full insect list shows how careful the center's records are.
- Change 2, because “messy” is a plainer word than “untidy” for the board.
Use this
A Meadow for Willow Bend (proposal draft to the volunteer board of an invented nature center): [1] The Willow Bend Nature Center mows about two acres of lawn between its parking lot and its main trail every week from May to October. [2] This proposal asks the board to approve turning one of those acres into a meadow of native wildflowers and grasses next spring.
[3] The implementation of a reduction in mowing frequency would result in the facilitation of habitat establishment for a diversity of pollinator taxa, including bees, butterflies and moths. [4] Native plants such as milkweed, bee balm and goldenrod produce nectar and pollen across the summer, and milkweed is the only plant on which monarch caterpillars can feed. [5] A meadow would also cut the center's mowing costs, which last year came to about $3,200 for fuel, repairs and staff time. [6] The staff estimate that preparing and seeding one acre would cost about $2,400 in the first year, mostly for native seed. [7] After the first two years, a meadow usually needs mowing only once a year, in late fall or early spring.
[8] Some visitors may at first think an unmowed meadow looks untidy, so the plan includes a mowed path and two signs explaining what the meadow is for. [9] Volunteers from the Willow Bend Garden Club have offered to help with planting, and three local schools have asked to use the meadow for field lessons. [10] Notwithstanding the anticipated initial establishment period, during which floral abundance is expected to remain low relative to subsequent seasons, long-term outcomes are projected to be favorable. [11] In its first summer the meadow will look patchy, because many native perennials spend their first year growing roots. [12] By the third summer, the meadow should be in bloom from June to September.
[13] The board's approval at its March meeting would allow seed to be ordered in time for planting in late April. [14] The center's director, Ms. Okonjo, and its grounds manager, Mr. Tabb, will be glad to answer questions before the vote.
Pia wants the board to understand sentence 10 at a glance. Which revision is plain and keeps its precise meaning?
- The meadow will turn out fine in the end.
- The meadow will have few flowers while it gets started, but it will become the center's most popular spot.
- Despite low floral abundance during establishment, outcomes in later seasons are projected to be favorable.
- The meadow will have few flowers while it gets started, but it should bloom well in later years.
Bo is turning sentence 8's idea into the sign that trail visitors will read beside the meadow. Which version fits that reader?
- Don't freak out, this mess is here on purpose and the bugs totally love it!
- Some visitors may at first think an unmowed meadow looks untidy, so the plan includes a mowed path and two signs.
- This meadow is left unmowed on purpose, so that its wildflowers can feed bees and butterflies.
- This meadow is left unmowed on purpose, and the center hopes you will enjoy it.
Use this
Phosphate and Algae in Three Ponds (research summary draft for an invented student science journal read by students and teachers): [1] Green algae can spread across a pond in summer, turning the water cloudy and lowering the oxygen that fish and insects need during the night. [2] This study asked whether ponds that receive runoff from large lawns contain more phosphate and more algae than ponds surrounded by woods.
[3] Over eight weeks in the summer, a team of six students sampled three ponds in the invented town of Rook Hollow every Monday morning. [4] Pond A lies beside a park with large lawns, Pond B lies in a neighborhood of small yards, and Pond C lies in a stretch of woods. [5] Quantification of phosphate concentration was accomplished via colorimetric analysis utilizing commercially available reagent kits, with measurements conducted in triplicate. [6] Algae were measured by how far down a black-and-white disk could be seen before it disappeared, a tool called a Secchi disk.
[7] Phosphate averaged 0.21 milligrams per liter in Pond A, 0.12 in Pond B and 0.04 in Pond C. [8] The disk disappeared at 0.6 meters in Pond A, 1.1 meters in Pond B and 2.3 meters in Pond C, so the water was cloudiest where phosphate was highest. [9] The observed inverse relationship between phosphate concentration and Secchi depth is consistent with, though not determinative of, a causal contribution of nutrient loading to algal proliferation. [10] Because only three ponds were studied, and only in one summer, the results cannot show that runoff caused the differences.
[11] Other factors, such as the depth of each pond, the shade around it and the number of geese that visit it, may also affect how much algae grows. [12] A larger study could compare more ponds of similar depth over several summers. [13] The team shared its results with the Rook Hollow parks office, which has asked to see next year's data. [14] The team thanks the parks office for permission to sample and the science department for lending the test kits.
Planned changes: (1) Unpack sentence 5 into plain words for student readers. (2) Change “every Monday morning” in sentence 3 to “on Mondays.” (3) Add the brand name of the test kits. (4) Add each team member's full name and grade.
Milo has four planned changes for the summary, listed below it. Which change matters most for its student readers?
- Change 4, because the team's names make the summary look more complete.
- Change 3, because other scientists could repeat the test with the same kits.
- Change 2, because “on Mondays” is shorter and reads more smoothly.
- Change 1, because students cannot follow how phosphate was measured in sentence 5's wording.
Use this
Phosphate and Algae in Three Ponds (research summary draft for an invented student science journal read by students and teachers): [1] Green algae can spread across a pond in summer, turning the water cloudy and lowering the oxygen that fish and insects need during the night. [2] This study asked whether ponds that receive runoff from large lawns contain more phosphate and more algae than ponds surrounded by woods.
[3] Over eight weeks in the summer, a team of six students sampled three ponds in the invented town of Rook Hollow every Monday morning. [4] Pond A lies beside a park with large lawns, Pond B lies in a neighborhood of small yards, and Pond C lies in a stretch of woods. [5] Quantification of phosphate concentration was accomplished via colorimetric analysis utilizing commercially available reagent kits, with measurements conducted in triplicate. [6] Algae were measured by how far down a black-and-white disk could be seen before it disappeared, a tool called a Secchi disk.
[7] Phosphate averaged 0.21 milligrams per liter in Pond A, 0.12 in Pond B and 0.04 in Pond C. [8] The disk disappeared at 0.6 meters in Pond A, 1.1 meters in Pond B and 2.3 meters in Pond C, so the water was cloudiest where phosphate was highest. [9] The observed inverse relationship between phosphate concentration and Secchi depth is consistent with, though not determinative of, a causal contribution of nutrient loading to algal proliferation. [10] Because only three ponds were studied, and only in one summer, the results cannot show that runoff caused the differences.
[11] Other factors, such as the depth of each pond, the shade around it and the number of geese that visit it, may also affect how much algae grows. [12] A larger study could compare more ponds of similar depth over several summers. [13] The team shared its results with the Rook Hollow parks office, which has asked to see next year's data. [14] The team thanks the parks office for permission to sample and the science department for lending the test kits.
Kira is rewriting sentence 6 for a fifth-grade nature club's newsletter. Which version fits that reader?
- To see how much algae was in the water, we lowered a black-and-white disk into each pond.
- Algae were measured by how far down a black-and-white disk could be seen before it disappeared, a tool called a Secchi disk by scientists.
- We dunked a cool striped disk into the gross green water to check it out!
- To see how much algae was in the water, we lowered a black-and-white disk and noted how deep it went before we lost sight of it.
Use this
Phosphate and Algae in Three Ponds (research summary draft for an invented student science journal read by students and teachers): [1] Green algae can spread across a pond in summer, turning the water cloudy and lowering the oxygen that fish and insects need during the night. [2] This study asked whether ponds that receive runoff from large lawns contain more phosphate and more algae than ponds surrounded by woods.
[3] Over eight weeks in the summer, a team of six students sampled three ponds in the invented town of Rook Hollow every Monday morning. [4] Pond A lies beside a park with large lawns, Pond B lies in a neighborhood of small yards, and Pond C lies in a stretch of woods. [5] Quantification of phosphate concentration was accomplished via colorimetric analysis utilizing commercially available reagent kits, with measurements conducted in triplicate. [6] Algae were measured by how far down a black-and-white disk could be seen before it disappeared, a tool called a Secchi disk.
[7] Phosphate averaged 0.21 milligrams per liter in Pond A, 0.12 in Pond B and 0.04 in Pond C. [8] The disk disappeared at 0.6 meters in Pond A, 1.1 meters in Pond B and 2.3 meters in Pond C, so the water was cloudiest where phosphate was highest. [9] The observed inverse relationship between phosphate concentration and Secchi depth is consistent with, though not determinative of, a causal contribution of nutrient loading to algal proliferation. [10] Because only three ponds were studied, and only in one summer, the results cannot show that runoff caused the differences.
[11] Other factors, such as the depth of each pond, the shade around it and the number of geese that visit it, may also affect how much algae grows. [12] A larger study could compare more ponds of similar depth over several summers. [13] The team shared its results with the Rook Hollow parks office, which has asked to see next year's data. [14] The team thanks the parks office for permission to sample and the science department for lending the test kits.
Planned changes: (1) Unpack sentence 9 so students can see the main finding. (2) Add a table of the Monday readings. (3) Replace “cloudiest” in sentence 8 with “most turbid.” (4) Move the thanks in sentence 14 to the top.
Ren wants student readers to come away with the study's main finding. Which planned change, listed below the summary, matters most for that?
- Change 4, because putting the thanks first is the polite order for a summary.
- Change 1, because the main finding is buried in sentence 9's dense wording.
- Change 2, because a table of the Monday readings lets readers check the averages.
- Change 3, because “most turbid” sounds more scientific than “cloudiest.”
Use this
Phosphate and Algae in Three Ponds (research summary draft for an invented student science journal read by students and teachers): [1] Green algae can spread across a pond in summer, turning the water cloudy and lowering the oxygen that fish and insects need during the night. [2] This study asked whether ponds that receive runoff from large lawns contain more phosphate and more algae than ponds surrounded by woods.
[3] Over eight weeks in the summer, a team of six students sampled three ponds in the invented town of Rook Hollow every Monday morning. [4] Pond A lies beside a park with large lawns, Pond B lies in a neighborhood of small yards, and Pond C lies in a stretch of woods. [5] Quantification of phosphate concentration was accomplished via colorimetric analysis utilizing commercially available reagent kits, with measurements conducted in triplicate. [6] Algae were measured by how far down a black-and-white disk could be seen before it disappeared, a tool called a Secchi disk.
[7] Phosphate averaged 0.21 milligrams per liter in Pond A, 0.12 in Pond B and 0.04 in Pond C. [8] The disk disappeared at 0.6 meters in Pond A, 1.1 meters in Pond B and 2.3 meters in Pond C, so the water was cloudiest where phosphate was highest. [9] The observed inverse relationship between phosphate concentration and Secchi depth is consistent with, though not determinative of, a causal contribution of nutrient loading to algal proliferation. [10] Because only three ponds were studied, and only in one summer, the results cannot show that runoff caused the differences.
[11] Other factors, such as the depth of each pond, the shade around it and the number of geese that visit it, may also affect how much algae grows. [12] A larger study could compare more ponds of similar depth over several summers. [13] The team shared its results with the Rook Hollow parks office, which has asked to see next year's data. [14] The team thanks the parks office for permission to sample and the science department for lending the test kits.
Esme wants student readers to understand sentence 9. Which revision is plain and keeps its precise meaning?
- Phosphate makes ponds cloudy.
- Ponds with more phosphate had cloudier water, which shows that lawn fertilizer caused the algae.
- The inverse relationship between phosphate and Secchi depth is consistent with nutrient loading causing algal growth.
- Ponds with more phosphate had cloudier water, which fits the idea that phosphate feeds algae but does not prove it.
Noah is rewriting sentence 1 for the same fifth-grade nature club's newsletter. Which version fits that reader?
- In summer, tiny green living things called algae can spread across a pond, making the water cloudy and using up oxygen that fish need at night.
- In summer, gross green gunk takes over ponds and makes them super yucky for the fish!
- In summer, tiny green living things called algae can spread across a pond and make the water cloudy.
- Green algae can spread across a pond in summer, turning the water cloudy and lowering the oxygen that fish and insects need during the night.