Revise and edit a draft
Grade 7 Reading Worksheet - Challenge Me
Circle the best answer.
Read this first
Keep the Number 9 Bus (student draft: opinion letter)
[1] Last month, the city council voted to study ending the Number 9 bus, which carries riders between the Eastgate neighborhood and downtown. [2] The council says the route costs too much, but I believe that closing it would cost our community more than it saves.
[3] According to the transit office, about 220 people ride the Number 9 on an average weekday. [4] Many are students who take it to Eastgate Middle School, and others are workers who depend on it to reach jobs downtown. [5] Without the bus, some of these riders will have to drive, and the streets near the school are already crowded at 8 a.m.
[6] The council points out that the route costs $310,000 a year to operate. [7] That is a large number, but the city has set aside $410,000 this year to repave a single road, Harmon Road. [8] In addition, fares and a state grant covered more than half of the Number 9's cost last year. [9] The city would be giving up a service that mostly pays for itself.
[10] Some council members have suggested that riders could switch to the Number 12 bus. [11] The Number 12, however, stops a mile from Eastgate Middle School and runs only every forty minutes. [12] The council should keep the Number 9 and look for savings elsewhere.
Pia wants [9] to match the evidence in [8] without costing the letter anything. Which revision of [9] does that best?
- Cut [7] and [8], since [9] already says the city would be giving up a service that mostly pays for itself.
- Revise [9]: “Because the state grant will continue next year, the city would be giving up a service that will cost it almost nothing.”
- Revise [9]: “The council should be ashamed to spend money on a road while a bus that helps students is cut.”
- Revise [9]: “Because fares and the grant covered more than half of its cost last year, the city would be giving up a service that is already mostly paid for.”
Keep the Number 9 Bus (student draft: opinion letter)
[1] Last month, the city council voted to study ending the Number 9 bus, which carries riders between the Eastgate neighborhood and downtown. [2] The council says the route costs too much, but I believe that closing it would cost our community more than it saves.
[3] According to the transit office, about 220 people ride the Number 9 on an average weekday. [4] Many are students who take it to Eastgate Middle School, and others are workers who depend on it to reach jobs downtown. [5] Without the bus, some of these riders will have to drive, and the streets near the school are already crowded at 8 a.m.
[6] The council points out that the route costs $310,000 a year to operate. [7] That is a large number, but the city has set aside $410,000 this year to repave a single road, Harmon Road. [8] In addition, fares and a state grant covered more than half of the Number 9's cost last year. [9] The city would be giving up a service that mostly pays for itself.
[10] Some council members have suggested that riders could switch to the Number 12 bus. [11] The Number 12, however, stops a mile from Eastgate Middle School and runs only every forty minutes. [12] The council should keep the Number 9 and look for savings elsewhere.
Reader's comment: “You never say what closing the route would cost the community. Your last sentence also does not ask the council to do anything specific.”
Tala plans a revision. A reader says the letter never names what closing the route would cost the community, and the ending asks the council for nothing specific. Which plan answers both?
- Add a sentence after [8] about the state grant; revise [1] so it states the cost of the route in dollars.
- Add a sentence after [5] on what closing would cost; revise [12] to ask the council to vote no.
- Add a sentence after [5] on what closing the route would cost; then cut [3] to [5] so paragraph 2 is shorter.
- Add a sentence after [5] on what closing the route would cost; leave [12] as it is.
Keep the Number 9 Bus (student draft: opinion letter)
[1] Last month, the city council voted to study ending the Number 9 bus, which carries riders between the Eastgate neighborhood and downtown. [2] The council says the route costs too much, but I believe that closing it would cost our community more than it saves.
[3] According to the transit office, about 220 people ride the Number 9 on an average weekday. [4] Many are students who take it to Eastgate Middle School, and others are workers who depend on it to reach jobs downtown. [5] Without the bus, some of these riders will have to drive, and the streets near the school are already crowded at 8 a.m.
[6] The council points out that the route costs $310,000 a year to operate. [7] That is a large number, but the city has set aside $410,000 this year to repave a single road, Harmon Road. [8] In addition, fares and a state grant covered more than half of the Number 9's cost last year. [9] The city would be giving up a service that mostly pays for itself.
[10] Some council members have suggested that riders could switch to the Number 12 bus. [11] The Number 12, however, stops a mile from Eastgate Middle School and runs only every forty minutes. [12] The council should keep the Number 9 and look for savings elsewhere.
Zee wants [11] to answer the suggestion in [10] without costing the letter anything. Which revision of [11] does that best?
- Revise [11]: “That plan would not work, because the Number 12 is too far from the riders who need it.”
- Revise [11]: “That plan would not work for students, because the Number 12 stops a mile from Eastgate Middle School and runs only every forty minutes.”
- Revise [11]: “That plan would not work, because the Number 12 is always late and is too crowded to hold the Number 9's riders.”
- Revise [11]: “Council members who suggest this plan have clearly never ridden a bus, and they should try the Number 12 for a week.”
Keep the Number 9 Bus (student draft: opinion letter)
[1] Last month, the city council voted to study ending the Number 9 bus, which carries riders between the Eastgate neighborhood and downtown. [2] The council says the route costs too much, but I believe that closing it would cost our community more than it saves.
[3] According to the transit office, about 220 people ride the Number 9 on an average weekday. [4] Many are students who take it to Eastgate Middle School, and others are workers who depend on it to reach jobs downtown. [5] Without the bus, some of these riders will have to drive, and the streets near the school are already crowded at 8 a.m.
[6] The council points out that the route costs $310,000 a year to operate. [7] That is a large number, but the city has set aside $410,000 this year to repave a single road, Harmon Road. [8] In addition, fares and a state grant covered more than half of the Number 9's cost last year. [9] The city would be giving up a service that mostly pays for itself.
[10] Some council members have suggested that riders could switch to the Number 12 bus. [11] The Number 12, however, stops a mile from Eastgate Middle School and runs only every forty minutes. [12] The council should keep the Number 9 and look for savings elsewhere.
First revision of [3]: “The transit office counts about 220 riders on the Number 9 on an average weekday.”
Second revision of [3]: “Hundreds of people ride the Number 9 on an average weekday.”Ari compares two revisions of [3]. Which statement about them is correct?
- The first revision drops the transit office, and the second revision keeps it.
- The first revision keeps just the source, and the second keeps just the number.
- The first revision keeps the number and the source, and the second revision keeps the source but not the number.
- The first revision keeps the number and the source; the second drops both and uses a vague word.
Keep the Number 9 Bus (student draft: opinion letter)
[1] Last month, the city council voted to study ending the Number 9 bus, which carries riders between the Eastgate neighborhood and downtown. [2] The council says the route costs too much, but I believe that closing it would cost our community more than it saves.
[3] According to the transit office, about 220 people ride the Number 9 on an average weekday. [4] Many are students who take it to Eastgate Middle School, and others are workers who depend on it to reach jobs downtown. [5] Without the bus, some of these riders will have to drive, and the streets near the school are already crowded at 8 a.m.
[6] The council points out that the route costs $310,000 a year to operate. [7] That is a large number, but the city has set aside $410,000 this year to repave a single road, Harmon Road. [8] In addition, fares and a state grant covered more than half of the Number 9's cost last year. [9] The city would be giving up a service that mostly pays for itself.
[10] Some council members have suggested that riders could switch to the Number 12 bus. [11] The Number 12, however, stops a mile from Eastgate Middle School and runs only every forty minutes. [12] The council should keep the Number 9 and look for savings elsewhere.
Reader's comment: “It is not clear who gains from the route besides the riders, and the dollar amounts in paragraph 3 are hard to compare.”
Bo plans a revision. A reader says the letter never shows who benefits besides riders, and the numbers in paragraph 3 are hard to compare. Which plan answers both?
- Put the $310,000 and $410,000 figures side by side in one sentence; leave paragraph 2 as it is.
- Add a sentence after [4] on who else gains; then cut [4] so paragraph 2 holds just the ridership number.
- Revise [1] to name the date of the council vote; cut [11] so the Number 12 is not mentioned.
- Add a sentence after [4] on who else gains; put $310,000 and $410,000 side by side in one sentence.
The Pony Express (student draft: informative)
[1] In April 1860, a rider mounted a fast horse in St. Joseph, Missouri, carrying a leather pouch of letters bound for Sacramento, California. [2] The Pony Express, as the service was called, promised to carry mail across nearly 2,000 miles in about ten days. [3] Before then, letters between the East and California usually traveled by ship or by stagecoach, and they took weeks.
[4] Riders changed horses every ten to fifteen miles at stations along the route, and each rider handed the pouch to a new rider after a stretch of seventy-five miles or more. [5] Riders were usually small and light, which let the horses run faster.
[6] The service carried news quickly. [7] Abraham Lincoln's first inaugural address, delivered in March 1861, reached Sacramento in less than eight days. [8] Despite its fame, the Pony Express lost money. [9] Early letters cost five dollars per half ounce, a high price in 1860, and few customers could afford to send many.
[10] In October 1861, the first telegraph line to link the East and California was finished, and the Pony Express closed within days. [11] The service had lasted only about eighteen months, yet it remains one of the best-known stories of the American West. [12] Its short life shows how quickly a new technology can replace even the fastest old method.
Esme wants [8] to connect the speed in [7] to the money problem without costing the draft anything. Which revision of [8] does that best?
- Revise [8]: “Speed came at a price, so the Pony Express lost money on each letter it carried.”
- Revise [8]: “Speed came at a price, however, and despite its fame the Pony Express lost money.”
- Revise [8]: “The Pony Express was a fine idea, but its owners were poor managers who wasted their money.”
- Cut [9], since [8] already says the Pony Express lost money.
The Pony Express (student draft: informative)
[1] In April 1860, a rider mounted a fast horse in St. Joseph, Missouri, carrying a leather pouch of letters bound for Sacramento, California. [2] The Pony Express, as the service was called, promised to carry mail across nearly 2,000 miles in about ten days. [3] Before then, letters between the East and California usually traveled by ship or by stagecoach, and they took weeks.
[4] Riders changed horses every ten to fifteen miles at stations along the route, and each rider handed the pouch to a new rider after a stretch of seventy-five miles or more. [5] Riders were usually small and light, which let the horses run faster.
[6] The service carried news quickly. [7] Abraham Lincoln's first inaugural address, delivered in March 1861, reached Sacramento in less than eight days. [8] Despite its fame, the Pony Express lost money. [9] Early letters cost five dollars per half ounce, a high price in 1860, and few customers could afford to send many.
[10] In October 1861, the first telegraph line to link the East and California was finished, and the Pony Express closed within days. [11] The service had lasted only about eighteen months, yet it remains one of the best-known stories of the American West. [12] Its short life shows how quickly a new technology can replace even the fastest old method.
First revision of [7]: “Delivered in March 1861, Abraham Lincoln's first inaugural address reached Sacramento in less than eight days.”
Second revision of [7]: “Abraham Lincoln's first inaugural address reached Sacramento quickly.”Jun compares two revisions of [7]. Which statement about them is correct?
- The first revision drops the date, and the second revision keeps the claim about eight days.
- The first revision keeps the date, and the second revision keeps the same claim about eight days.
- The first revision keeps the date and the day count; the second keeps only the word quickly.
- The first revision drops the date, and the second revision keeps it.
The Pony Express (student draft: informative)
[1] In April 1860, a rider mounted a fast horse in St. Joseph, Missouri, carrying a leather pouch of letters bound for Sacramento, California. [2] The Pony Express, as the service was called, promised to carry mail across nearly 2,000 miles in about ten days. [3] Before then, letters between the East and California usually traveled by ship or by stagecoach, and they took weeks.
[4] Riders changed horses every ten to fifteen miles at stations along the route, and each rider handed the pouch to a new rider after a stretch of seventy-five miles or more. [5] Riders were usually small and light, which let the horses run faster.
[6] The service carried news quickly. [7] Abraham Lincoln's first inaugural address, delivered in March 1861, reached Sacramento in less than eight days. [8] Despite its fame, the Pony Express lost money. [9] Early letters cost five dollars per half ounce, a high price in 1860, and few customers could afford to send many.
[10] In October 1861, the first telegraph line to link the East and California was finished, and the Pony Express closed within days. [11] The service had lasted only about eighteen months, yet it remains one of the best-known stories of the American West. [12] Its short life shows how quickly a new technology can replace even the fastest old method.
Luz wants [12] to name what replaced the Pony Express without costing the draft anything. Which revision of [12] does that best?
- Cut [10], since [12] already says that a new technology replaced the Pony Express.
- Revise [12]: “Its short life shows that the telegraph was cheaper, more reliable, and safer than riders on horseback.”
- Revise [12]: “Anyone who wants to learn more should visit one of the old Pony Express stations that now stand as museums.”
- Revise [12]: “Its short life shows how quickly a new technology, the telegraph, can replace even the fastest old method.”
The Pony Express (student draft: informative)
[1] In April 1860, a rider mounted a fast horse in St. Joseph, Missouri, carrying a leather pouch of letters bound for Sacramento, California. [2] The Pony Express, as the service was called, promised to carry mail across nearly 2,000 miles in about ten days. [3] Before then, letters between the East and California usually traveled by ship or by stagecoach, and they took weeks.
[4] Riders changed horses every ten to fifteen miles at stations along the route, and each rider handed the pouch to a new rider after a stretch of seventy-five miles or more. [5] Riders were usually small and light, which let the horses run faster.
[6] The service carried news quickly. [7] Abraham Lincoln's first inaugural address, delivered in March 1861, reached Sacramento in less than eight days. [8] Despite its fame, the Pony Express lost money. [9] Early letters cost five dollars per half ounce, a high price in 1860, and few customers could afford to send many.
[10] In October 1861, the first telegraph line to link the East and California was finished, and the Pony Express closed within days. [11] The service had lasted only about eighteen months, yet it remains one of the best-known stories of the American West. [12] Its short life shows how quickly a new technology can replace even the fastest old method.
First revision of [9]: “Early letters cost five dollars per half ounce, a high price in 1860.”
Second revision of [9]: “Early letters cost five dollars per half ounce, a high price in 1860, so few customers could afford to send many.”Milo compares two revisions of [9]. Which statement about them is correct?
- The first revision keeps the customers but drops the price.
- The first revision drops the customers, and the second revision drops them as well, so neither revision mentions who could pay.
- The first revision drops the price, and the second revision drops the customers.
- The first revision drops the customers; the second keeps them and ties them to the price.
The Pony Express (student draft: informative)
[1] In April 1860, a rider mounted a fast horse in St. Joseph, Missouri, carrying a leather pouch of letters bound for Sacramento, California. [2] The Pony Express, as the service was called, promised to carry mail across nearly 2,000 miles in about ten days. [3] Before then, letters between the East and California usually traveled by ship or by stagecoach, and they took weeks.
[4] Riders changed horses every ten to fifteen miles at stations along the route, and each rider handed the pouch to a new rider after a stretch of seventy-five miles or more. [5] Riders were usually small and light, which let the horses run faster.
[6] The service carried news quickly. [7] Abraham Lincoln's first inaugural address, delivered in March 1861, reached Sacramento in less than eight days. [8] Despite its fame, the Pony Express lost money. [9] Early letters cost five dollars per half ounce, a high price in 1860, and few customers could afford to send many.
[10] In October 1861, the first telegraph line to link the East and California was finished, and the Pony Express closed within days. [11] The service had lasted only about eighteen months, yet it remains one of the best-known stories of the American West. [12] Its short life shows how quickly a new technology can replace even the fastest old method.
Reader's comment: “I cannot tell how the service managed to be so fast. The opening paragraph also never says where the route began and ended.”
Noah plans a revision. A reader says the draft does not explain how the service worked so fast, and the opening paragraph should say the route's two end points. Which plan answers both?
- Revise [11] to say the service lasted eighteen months; add a sentence after [10] about the telegraph.
- Add a sentence after [5] that ties changing horses to the speed; then cut [4] so paragraph 2 is shorter.
- Add a sentence after [5] that ties changing horses to the speed; revise [2] to name St. Joseph and Sacramento as the end points.
- Revise [2] to name St. Joseph and Sacramento as the end points; leave paragraph 2 as it is.