Revise and edit a draft
Grade 7 Reading Worksheet
Circle the best answer.
Read this first
Why Monarchs Make the Long Flight (student draft: informative)
[1] Every fall, monarch butterflies that live east of the Rocky Mountains fly as far as 3,000 miles to the mountain forests of central Mexico. [2] Monarchs cannot survive a freezing winter, so the journey is their way of escaping the cold. [3] What makes the trip remarkable is that no single butterfly ever completes the whole round trip.
[4] The monarchs that spend the winter in Mexico leave in March and fly north only as far as Texas and nearby states, where they lay eggs on milkweed plants and their lives end. [5] Their offspring continue north, and during the summer three or four more generations are born along the way. [6] Most adult monarchs live only two to six weeks. [7] The generation born in late summer, however, lives for about eight months, which gives it time to fly all the way to Mexico.
[8] Milkweed is essential to this cycle. [9] Female monarchs lay their eggs only on milkweed, and the caterpillars that hatch eat nothing else. [10] Milkweed has become scarcer in the Midwest, partly because farmers have sprayed herbicides that clear it from crop fields. [11] Many gardeners now plant milkweed in their yards to give monarchs a place to lay eggs. [12] Planting milkweed is the most important thing people can do for monarchs.
Kira wants [8] to connect paragraph 3 to the generation story in paragraph 2. Which revision of [8] does that best?
- Revise [8]: “Gardeners across the country now plant milkweed because they enjoy watching butterflies visit their yards.”
- Revise [8]: “That cycle depends on one plant, because milkweed is the only food monarch caterpillars can eat.”
- Cut [9], since [8] already says that milkweed is essential to the cycle.
- Move paragraph 3 ahead of paragraph 2, so the milkweed ideas come first and the generations follow.
Luz wants more support for the claim in [2]. Which sentence added after [2] does that best?
- Add after [2]: “Monarchs get their orange color from tiny scales on their wings, and the black lines are veins.”
- Add after [2]: “Adult monarchs cannot survive a long freeze, and the milkweed that feeds their caterpillars withers back to the ground each winter in the north.”
- Add after [2]: “Winter in the north is very hard on butterflies, and it is easy to see why they would want to leave.”
- Add after [2]: “If you see a monarch in October, record where you saw it so that scientists can follow its trip.”
Milo wants [4] shortened without losing any fact. Which revision of [4] does that best?
- Revise [4]: “The monarchs that winter in Mexico leave in March, fly north only as far as Texas and nearby states, lay eggs on milkweed, and their lives end.”
- Revise [4]: “The monarchs that winter in Mexico leave in March and fly north as far as Texas and nearby states, where their lives end and then they lay eggs on milkweed plants.”
- Revise [4]: “The monarchs that spend the winter in Mexico leave there in March, and when they leave Mexico in March they fly north only as far as Texas and nearby states, where they lay eggs on milkweed plants and their lives end.”
- Revise [4]: “The monarchs that winter in Mexico leave in March and fly north as far as Texas, where they lay eggs and their lives end.”
Pia wants more support for the claim in [11]. Which sentence added after [11] does that best?
- Add after [11]: “Milkweed produces clusters of pink flowers in summer, and the sap inside the plant is thick and white.”
- Add after [11]: “Readers who want to help should buy milkweed seeds from a local nursery this spring and plant them in sunny soil.”
- Add after [11]: “A single patch of milkweed gives a female a place to lay her eggs and gives the caterpillars that hatch enough leaves to eat.”
- Add after [11]: “Gardens are an important part of the effort, and each little bit of help makes a difference.”
Ren wants [6] and [7] combined into one sentence that keeps every fact. Which revision does that best?
- Most adult monarchs live two to six weeks, but the generation born in late summer lives about eight months.
- Most adult monarchs live only two to six weeks, but the generation born in late summer lives about eight months, long enough to fly all the way to Mexico.
- Most adult monarchs live for only two to six weeks, but the generation that is born in late summer lives longer, for about eight months, which is much longer than two to six weeks, long enough to fly all the way to Mexico.
- Most adult monarchs live only two to six weeks, so the generation born in late summer lives about eight months, long enough to fly all the way to Mexico.
The Night the Lights Went Out (student draft: personal narrative)
[1] The storm had been rattling our windows since dinner, so I was not surprised when the kitchen lights flickered twice and went out. [2] For a moment nobody spoke, and the only sound was the rain drumming on the roof. [3] Then my mother found two candles in a drawer and set them in the middle of the table.
[4] We played cards until the flames burned low, and the shadows on the ceiling swayed whenever a draft touched them. [5] My father kept score on the back of an envelope, and he declared himself the winner of every game, even the ones he lost. [6] It was the loudest our family had laughed in weeks.
[7] I carried my blanket to the window and watched the street. [8] Every house was dark, and the only light came from a car crawling past with its headlights low. [9] I wondered how many other families were sitting in the dark at that moment, each in its own kitchen.
[10] The power came back at midnight, and the refrigerator started humming again. [11] I felt a little disappointed. [12] I realized then that the dark had been a gift, because it had made us pay attention to one another.
Tala wants [7] to show that time passes between the card game and the window. Which revision of [7] does that best?
- Revise [7]: “Before we played cards, I carried my blanket to the window and watched the street, which let me see the whole neighborhood.”
- Revise [7]: “When the candles finally sputtered out, I carried my blanket to the window and watched the street.”
- Revise [7]: “I carried my blanket to the window, where the view of the whole neighborhood was widest.”
- Cut [7], so the narrator moves straight from the laughter in [6] to the dark houses in [8].
Zee wants [6] to show the laughter instead of just naming it. Which sentence added after [6] does that best?
- Add after [6]: “Families should put away their phones and play a card game together at least once a week.”
- Add after [6]: “The cards were an old deck with a bent corner, which my mother had kept in the drawer for years.”
- Add after [6]: “The whole family was in a very good mood, and it felt like the kind of night you remember for a long time.”
- Add after [6]: “My father insisted he had won, and by the third round my mother laughed so hard she dropped her cards.”
Ari wants [2] and [3] revised so they do not start the same way and keep every detail. Which revision does that best?
- For a moment nobody spoke, and in that moment of silence the only sound we could hear was the rain drumming on the roof, and then my mother found two candles in a drawer and set them in the middle of the table.
- For a moment nobody spoke, and the only sound was the rain, until my mother set two candles in the middle of the table.
- For a moment nobody spoke because my mother found two candles in a drawer and set them in the middle of the table.
- For a moment nobody spoke, and the only sound was rain drumming on the roof until my mother found two candles in a drawer and set them in the middle of the table.
Bo wants the move from the street in [9] to the power returning in [10] to feel less abrupt. Which revision of [10] does that best?
- Revise [10]: “The power came back at midnight, and the electric company later said the storm had knocked down several lines.”
- Move [10] ahead of [7], so the power returns before the narrator goes to the window.
- Revise [10]: “Not long after midnight, the power came back, and the refrigerator started humming again.”
- Cut [8] and [9], so the paragraph about the window ends right after [7].
Jun wants [8] and [9] combined into one sentence that keeps every detail. Which revision does that best?
- Every house was dark, and I wondered how many other families were sitting in the dark, each in its own kitchen.
- Every house was dark because a car crawled past with its headlights low, so I wondered how many other families were sitting in the dark, each in its own kitchen.
- Every house was dark, and the only light came from a car crawling past with its headlights low, so I wondered how many other families were sitting in the dark, each in its own kitchen.
- Every house was dark, and every house on the street was in the dark, and the only light came from a car crawling past with its headlights low, and I wondered how many other families were sitting in the dark, each in its own kitchen.