Worksheet

Revise and edit a draft

Grade 8 Reading Worksheet - Building Confidence

NameDate

Circle the best answer.

  1. Read this first

    What Wetlands Do for a Watershed (student draft: informative)

    [1] Wetlands, which include marshes, swamps, and bogs, are places where water covers the soil or lies near the surface for much of the year. [2] Thick mats of roots and decaying plants hold water like a sponge. [3] This slows the runoff that rushes toward rivers after heavy rain. [4] One acre of wetland can store as much as one and a half million gallons of floodwater, according to the Environmental Protection Agency. [5] That water is released gradually, so downstream towns face lower flood crests and streams keep flowing through dry spells.

    [6] Wetlands also improve the quality of the water that passes through them. [7] Plants and microbes in the mud absorb nitrogen from fertilizer, which traps pollution before it can feed overgrowths of algae in lakes. [8] Sediment also settles out as the current slows, leaving clearer water for the stream below. [9] Researchers have measured these effects most carefully in constructed wetlands, which engineers build beside farms and sewage plants.

    [10] The United States has lost roughly half of its original wetlands since European settlement, mostly to farmland and development. [11] Conservation programs now pay landowners to restore drained fields, and restored wetlands often begin filtering water within a few years. [12] Protecting the wetlands that remain costs far less than building the flood walls and treatment plants that would replace them. [13] Seen this way, wetlands are free infrastructure that does everything a town would otherwise have to buy.

  2. Ari wants to improve the link between paragraphs 2 and 3 while keeping the draft informative. Which revision does that best?

    • Cut [9], so paragraph 2 ends with the sediment sentence and paragraph 3 begins directly with the loss of wetlands.
    • Add after [9]: “Wetlands also shelter many species of birds, fish, and amphibians that need their shallow water to survive and breed.”
    • Add after [9]: “These services depend on wetlands staying intact, which makes the scale of their loss important to understand.”
    • Add after [9]: “Constructed wetlands treat wastewater by trapping nutrients and sediment, much as natural wetlands do.”

  3. Esme wants [13] to close the draft accurately. Which revision of [13] fits an informative draft best?

    • Seen this way, wetlands are a smart bargain that does the jobs a town would otherwise have to buy for itself.
    • Seen this way, wetlands replace flood walls and treatment plants entirely, at no cost to the town that keeps them and relies on them.
    • Seen this way, towns should protect their wetlands before they spend money on flood walls and treatment plants.
    • Seen this way, a wetland functions as natural infrastructure, doing several jobs that a town would otherwise pay engineers to do.

  4. Jun wants [11] to connect to the loss described in [10]. Which revision does that best?

    • Revise [11]: “In response, conservation programs now pay landowners to restore drained fields, and restored wetlands often begin filtering water within a few years.”
    • Revise [11]: “For example, conservation programs now pay landowners to restore drained fields, and restored wetlands often begin filtering water within a few years.”
    • Add before [11]: “Most of the original wetlands were drained for farmland and development over about two centuries.”
    • Cut [10], so paragraph 3 begins directly with the restoration programs and the benefits of restored wetlands.

  5. What Wetlands Do for a Watershed (student draft: informative)

    [1] Wetlands, which include marshes, swamps, and bogs, are places where water covers the soil or lies near the surface for much of the year. [2] Thick mats of roots and decaying plants hold water like a sponge. [3] This slows the runoff that rushes toward rivers after heavy rain. [4] One acre of wetland can store as much as one and a half million gallons of floodwater, according to the Environmental Protection Agency. [5] That water is released gradually, so downstream towns face lower flood crests and streams keep flowing through dry spells.

    [6] Wetlands also improve the quality of the water that passes through them. [7] Plants and microbes in the mud absorb nitrogen from fertilizer, which traps pollution before it can feed overgrowths of algae in lakes. [8] Sediment also settles out as the current slows, leaving clearer water for the stream below. [9] Researchers have measured these effects most carefully in constructed wetlands, which engineers build beside farms and sewage plants.

    [10] The United States has lost roughly half of its original wetlands since European settlement, mostly to farmland and development. [11] Conservation programs now pay landowners to restore drained fields, and restored wetlands often begin filtering water within a few years. [12] Protecting the wetlands that remain costs far less than building the flood walls and treatment plants that would replace them. [13] Seen this way, wetlands are free infrastructure that does everything a town would otherwise have to buy. Change shown: Before, [9] reads: Researchers have measured these effects most carefully in constructed wetlands, which engineers build beside farms and sewage plants. After, it reads: Researchers have measured these effects most carefully in constructed wetlands.

  6. Kira compares two versions of [9]. Which note best describes the change and what it does for the reader?

    • Cut: the clause explaining what constructed wetlands are is gone, so the reader loses that definition.
    • Reword: the sentence keeps its meaning in fewer words, so nothing the reader needs has been lost.
    • Move: the clause about farms and sewage plants now appears earlier in the paragraph, which makes the point easier to find.
    • Cut: the clause is gone, which shows that natural wetlands have not been measured as carefully as constructed ones.

  7. What Wetlands Do for a Watershed (student draft: informative)

    [1] Wetlands, which include marshes, swamps, and bogs, are places where water covers the soil or lies near the surface for much of the year. [2] Thick mats of roots and decaying plants hold water like a sponge. [3] This slows the runoff that rushes toward rivers after heavy rain. [4] One acre of wetland can store as much as one and a half million gallons of floodwater, according to the Environmental Protection Agency. [5] That water is released gradually, so downstream towns face lower flood crests and streams keep flowing through dry spells.

    [6] Wetlands also improve the quality of the water that passes through them. [7] Plants and microbes in the mud absorb nitrogen from fertilizer, which traps pollution before it can feed overgrowths of algae in lakes. [8] Sediment also settles out as the current slows, leaving clearer water for the stream below. [9] Researchers have measured these effects most carefully in constructed wetlands, which engineers build beside farms and sewage plants.

    [10] The United States has lost roughly half of its original wetlands since European settlement, mostly to farmland and development. [11] Conservation programs now pay landowners to restore drained fields, and restored wetlands often begin filtering water within a few years. [12] Protecting the wetlands that remain costs far less than building the flood walls and treatment plants that would replace them. [13] Seen this way, wetlands are free infrastructure that does everything a town would otherwise have to buy.

  8. Luz wants [12] to compare costs in a way the draft can support. Which revision of [12] does that best?

    • Voters should support wetland protection, since it costs less than building flood walls and treatment plants.
    • Protecting the wetlands that remain is often less costly than building the flood walls and treatment plants that would replace them.
    • Protecting the wetlands that remain is cheaper than any flood wall or treatment plant that a town could build.
    • Saving the wetlands we still have is a smarter deal for any town than paying for flood walls and treatment plants after the next big storm.

  9. Rain Barrels for the School Garden (letter to Principal Alvarez) (student draft: proposal letter)

    [1] Each spring, the science club waters the school garden with hoses attached to the main water line, and the cost of that water is added to the utility bill. [2] I am writing to propose that the school install two rain barrels beneath the downspouts of the east gym roof, which drains into one corner of the schoolyard. [3] A roof with a thousand square feet of surface sheds about six hundred gallons for every inch of rain. [4] Most of that water now runs across the pavement into the storm drain. [5] Two barrels holding fifty-five gallons each would catch only a fraction of it, but the club estimates that its beds need about one hundred gallons in a typical dry week.

    [6] According to the hardware catalog the club consulted, two barrels with spigots and screens would cost about one hundred and twenty dollars. [7] Parent volunteers have offered to build the stands. [8] The custodian, Mr. Okafor, has agreed to check the screens each month so that mosquitoes cannot breed in standing water. [9] Collected rainwater would also reduce the runoff that carries soil and fertilizer from the schoolyard into the storm drain.

    [10] Some staff members may worry that the barrels will overflow during storms or look untidy beside the gym. [11] Each barrel includes an overflow hose that can be aimed at the garden bed, so excess water would soak into the soil instead of the pavement. [12] The stands could be painted by art students to match the brick, which would make the barrels look better and show off how good our art program is. [13] I would be glad to present the club's plan at the next meeting of the facilities committee. [14] I hope you will agree that the barrels are the obvious choice and approve them before the spring planting.

  10. Milo wants the opening of paragraph 3 to connect to the benefits in paragraph 2. Which revision does that best?

    • Revise [10]: “Even so, some staff members may worry that the barrels will overflow during storms or look untidy beside the gym.”
    • Add before [10]: “The barrels would save the club money, reduce runoff, and cost very little to install.”
    • Revise [10]: “As a result, some staff members may worry that the barrels will overflow during storms or look untidy beside the gym.”
    • Cut [9], so paragraph 2 ends with the custodian's agreement and paragraph 3 begins with the staff members' worry.

  11. Rain Barrels for the School Garden (letter to Principal Alvarez) (student draft: proposal letter)

    [1] Each spring, the science club waters the school garden with hoses attached to the main water line, and the cost of that water is added to the utility bill. [2] I am writing to propose that the school install two rain barrels beneath the downspouts of the east gym roof, which drains into one corner of the schoolyard. [3] A roof with a thousand square feet of surface sheds about six hundred gallons for every inch of rain. [4] Most of that water now runs across the pavement into the storm drain. [5] Two barrels holding fifty-five gallons each would catch only a fraction of it, but the club estimates that its beds need about one hundred gallons in a typical dry week.

    [6] According to the hardware catalog the club consulted, two barrels with spigots and screens would cost about one hundred and twenty dollars. [7] Parent volunteers have offered to build the stands. [8] The custodian, Mr. Okafor, has agreed to check the screens each month so that mosquitoes cannot breed in standing water. [9] Collected rainwater would also reduce the runoff that carries soil and fertilizer from the schoolyard into the storm drain.

    [10] Some staff members may worry that the barrels will overflow during storms or look untidy beside the gym. [11] Each barrel includes an overflow hose that can be aimed at the garden bed, so excess water would soak into the soil instead of the pavement. [12] The stands could be painted by art students to match the brick, which would make the barrels look better and show off how good our art program is. [13] I would be glad to present the club's plan at the next meeting of the facilities committee. [14] I hope you will agree that the barrels are the obvious choice and approve them before the spring planting. Change shown: Before, [3] and [4] read: A roof with a thousand square feet of surface sheds about six hundred gallons for every inch of rain. Most of that water now runs across the pavement into the storm drain. After, they read as one sentence: A roof with a thousand square feet of surface sheds about six hundred gallons for every inch of rain, and most of that water now runs across the pavement into the storm drain.

  12. Noah compares two versions of [3] and [4]. Which note best describes the change and what it does for the reader?

    • Combine: joining them shows that the east gym roof sheds more water than any other roof at the school.
    • Cut: the detail about the pavement is gone, so the sentence now covers just what the roof sheds.
    • Combine: the two sentences become one, so the loss of the water reads as part of the same fact.
    • Reword: the sentence now gives the club's estimate of its water needs, so it supports the cost argument.

  13. Rain Barrels for the School Garden (letter to Principal Alvarez) (student draft: proposal letter)

    [1] Each spring, the science club waters the school garden with hoses attached to the main water line, and the cost of that water is added to the utility bill. [2] I am writing to propose that the school install two rain barrels beneath the downspouts of the east gym roof, which drains into one corner of the schoolyard. [3] A roof with a thousand square feet of surface sheds about six hundred gallons for every inch of rain. [4] Most of that water now runs across the pavement into the storm drain. [5] Two barrels holding fifty-five gallons each would catch only a fraction of it, but the club estimates that its beds need about one hundred gallons in a typical dry week.

    [6] According to the hardware catalog the club consulted, two barrels with spigots and screens would cost about one hundred and twenty dollars. [7] Parent volunteers have offered to build the stands. [8] The custodian, Mr. Okafor, has agreed to check the screens each month so that mosquitoes cannot breed in standing water. [9] Collected rainwater would also reduce the runoff that carries soil and fertilizer from the schoolyard into the storm drain.

    [10] Some staff members may worry that the barrels will overflow during storms or look untidy beside the gym. [11] Each barrel includes an overflow hose that can be aimed at the garden bed, so excess water would soak into the soil instead of the pavement. [12] The stands could be painted by art students to match the brick, which would make the barrels look better and show off how good our art program is. [13] I would be glad to present the club's plan at the next meeting of the facilities committee. [14] I hope you will agree that the barrels are the obvious choice and approve them before the spring planting.

  14. Pia wants [12] to suit a proposal addressed to a principal. Which revision of [12] does that best?

    • Art students could paint the stands to match the brick, so the barrels would look really nice next to the gym.
    • Painted stands would turn the barrels into a showpiece that attracts visitors from across the district to the school garden each spring.
    • The stands could be painted by art students to match the brick, which would also give the school a small display of student work.
    • The art teacher should assign the stands as a class project, and students should be required to help paint them.

  15. Ren wants [6] to connect to the garden's water needs in [5]. Which revision does that best?

    • Add before [6]: “The barrels would hold enough water to cover the club's needs during a typical dry week.”
    • Cut [5], so paragraph 1 ends with the roof's runoff and paragraph 2 begins directly with the cost of the barrels.
    • Revise [6]: “Given that need, the price is modest: two barrels with spigots and screens would cost about one hundred and twenty dollars.”
    • Revise [6]: “Although the club needs about one hundred gallons a week, two barrels with spigots and screens would cost about one hundred and twenty dollars.”

  16. Zee wants [14] to close a proposal to a principal. Which revision of [14] fits the reader and purpose best?

    • Please approve the barrels by Friday, or the club will have to take its proposal to the school board.
    • Approving the barrels will fix the school's water problems and help the whole district save water.
    • Let me know what you think, because I'm sure you'll love how much the garden will grow with these barrels this spring.
    • I hope you will consider the proposal and let me know whether the club may present its plan before the spring planting.
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Revise and edit a draft

Answer Key - Grade 8 Reading Worksheet - Building Confidence

Circle the best answer.

  1. Read this first

    What Wetlands Do for a Watershed (student draft: informative)

    [1] Wetlands, which include marshes, swamps, and bogs, are places where water covers the soil or lies near the surface for much of the year. [2] Thick mats of roots and decaying plants hold water like a sponge. [3] This slows the runoff that rushes toward rivers after heavy rain. [4] One acre of wetland can store as much as one and a half million gallons of floodwater, according to the Environmental Protection Agency. [5] That water is released gradually, so downstream towns face lower flood crests and streams keep flowing through dry spells.

    [6] Wetlands also improve the quality of the water that passes through them. [7] Plants and microbes in the mud absorb nitrogen from fertilizer, which traps pollution before it can feed overgrowths of algae in lakes. [8] Sediment also settles out as the current slows, leaving clearer water for the stream below. [9] Researchers have measured these effects most carefully in constructed wetlands, which engineers build beside farms and sewage plants.

    [10] The United States has lost roughly half of its original wetlands since European settlement, mostly to farmland and development. [11] Conservation programs now pay landowners to restore drained fields, and restored wetlands often begin filtering water within a few years. [12] Protecting the wetlands that remain costs far less than building the flood walls and treatment plants that would replace them. [13] Seen this way, wetlands are free infrastructure that does everything a town would otherwise have to buy.

  2. Ari wants to improve the link between paragraphs 2 and 3 while keeping the draft informative. Which revision does that best?

    • Cut [9], so paragraph 2 ends with the sediment sentence and paragraph 3 begins directly with the loss of wetlands.
    • Add after [9]: “Wetlands also shelter many species of birds, fish, and amphibians that need their shallow water to survive and breed.”
    • Add after [9]: “These services depend on wetlands staying intact, which makes the scale of their loss important to understand.”
    • Add after [9]: “Constructed wetlands treat wastewater by trapping nutrients and sediment, much as natural wetlands do.”

  3. Esme wants [13] to close the draft accurately. Which revision of [13] fits an informative draft best?

    • Seen this way, wetlands are a smart bargain that does the jobs a town would otherwise have to buy for itself.
    • Seen this way, wetlands replace flood walls and treatment plants entirely, at no cost to the town that keeps them and relies on them.
    • Seen this way, towns should protect their wetlands before they spend money on flood walls and treatment plants.
    • Seen this way, a wetland functions as natural infrastructure, doing several jobs that a town would otherwise pay engineers to do.

  4. Jun wants [11] to connect to the loss described in [10]. Which revision does that best?

    • Revise [11]: “In response, conservation programs now pay landowners to restore drained fields, and restored wetlands often begin filtering water within a few years.”
    • Revise [11]: “For example, conservation programs now pay landowners to restore drained fields, and restored wetlands often begin filtering water within a few years.”
    • Add before [11]: “Most of the original wetlands were drained for farmland and development over about two centuries.”
    • Cut [10], so paragraph 3 begins directly with the restoration programs and the benefits of restored wetlands.

  5. What Wetlands Do for a Watershed (student draft: informative)

    [1] Wetlands, which include marshes, swamps, and bogs, are places where water covers the soil or lies near the surface for much of the year. [2] Thick mats of roots and decaying plants hold water like a sponge. [3] This slows the runoff that rushes toward rivers after heavy rain. [4] One acre of wetland can store as much as one and a half million gallons of floodwater, according to the Environmental Protection Agency. [5] That water is released gradually, so downstream towns face lower flood crests and streams keep flowing through dry spells.

    [6] Wetlands also improve the quality of the water that passes through them. [7] Plants and microbes in the mud absorb nitrogen from fertilizer, which traps pollution before it can feed overgrowths of algae in lakes. [8] Sediment also settles out as the current slows, leaving clearer water for the stream below. [9] Researchers have measured these effects most carefully in constructed wetlands, which engineers build beside farms and sewage plants.

    [10] The United States has lost roughly half of its original wetlands since European settlement, mostly to farmland and development. [11] Conservation programs now pay landowners to restore drained fields, and restored wetlands often begin filtering water within a few years. [12] Protecting the wetlands that remain costs far less than building the flood walls and treatment plants that would replace them. [13] Seen this way, wetlands are free infrastructure that does everything a town would otherwise have to buy. Change shown: Before, [9] reads: Researchers have measured these effects most carefully in constructed wetlands, which engineers build beside farms and sewage plants. After, it reads: Researchers have measured these effects most carefully in constructed wetlands.

  6. Kira compares two versions of [9]. Which note best describes the change and what it does for the reader?

    • Cut: the clause explaining what constructed wetlands are is gone, so the reader loses that definition.
    • Reword: the sentence keeps its meaning in fewer words, so nothing the reader needs has been lost.
    • Move: the clause about farms and sewage plants now appears earlier in the paragraph, which makes the point easier to find.
    • Cut: the clause is gone, which shows that natural wetlands have not been measured as carefully as constructed ones.

  7. What Wetlands Do for a Watershed (student draft: informative)

    [1] Wetlands, which include marshes, swamps, and bogs, are places where water covers the soil or lies near the surface for much of the year. [2] Thick mats of roots and decaying plants hold water like a sponge. [3] This slows the runoff that rushes toward rivers after heavy rain. [4] One acre of wetland can store as much as one and a half million gallons of floodwater, according to the Environmental Protection Agency. [5] That water is released gradually, so downstream towns face lower flood crests and streams keep flowing through dry spells.

    [6] Wetlands also improve the quality of the water that passes through them. [7] Plants and microbes in the mud absorb nitrogen from fertilizer, which traps pollution before it can feed overgrowths of algae in lakes. [8] Sediment also settles out as the current slows, leaving clearer water for the stream below. [9] Researchers have measured these effects most carefully in constructed wetlands, which engineers build beside farms and sewage plants.

    [10] The United States has lost roughly half of its original wetlands since European settlement, mostly to farmland and development. [11] Conservation programs now pay landowners to restore drained fields, and restored wetlands often begin filtering water within a few years. [12] Protecting the wetlands that remain costs far less than building the flood walls and treatment plants that would replace them. [13] Seen this way, wetlands are free infrastructure that does everything a town would otherwise have to buy.

  8. Luz wants [12] to compare costs in a way the draft can support. Which revision of [12] does that best?

    • Voters should support wetland protection, since it costs less than building flood walls and treatment plants.
    • Protecting the wetlands that remain is often less costly than building the flood walls and treatment plants that would replace them.
    • Protecting the wetlands that remain is cheaper than any flood wall or treatment plant that a town could build.
    • Saving the wetlands we still have is a smarter deal for any town than paying for flood walls and treatment plants after the next big storm.

  9. Rain Barrels for the School Garden (letter to Principal Alvarez) (student draft: proposal letter)

    [1] Each spring, the science club waters the school garden with hoses attached to the main water line, and the cost of that water is added to the utility bill. [2] I am writing to propose that the school install two rain barrels beneath the downspouts of the east gym roof, which drains into one corner of the schoolyard. [3] A roof with a thousand square feet of surface sheds about six hundred gallons for every inch of rain. [4] Most of that water now runs across the pavement into the storm drain. [5] Two barrels holding fifty-five gallons each would catch only a fraction of it, but the club estimates that its beds need about one hundred gallons in a typical dry week.

    [6] According to the hardware catalog the club consulted, two barrels with spigots and screens would cost about one hundred and twenty dollars. [7] Parent volunteers have offered to build the stands. [8] The custodian, Mr. Okafor, has agreed to check the screens each month so that mosquitoes cannot breed in standing water. [9] Collected rainwater would also reduce the runoff that carries soil and fertilizer from the schoolyard into the storm drain.

    [10] Some staff members may worry that the barrels will overflow during storms or look untidy beside the gym. [11] Each barrel includes an overflow hose that can be aimed at the garden bed, so excess water would soak into the soil instead of the pavement. [12] The stands could be painted by art students to match the brick, which would make the barrels look better and show off how good our art program is. [13] I would be glad to present the club's plan at the next meeting of the facilities committee. [14] I hope you will agree that the barrels are the obvious choice and approve them before the spring planting.

  10. Milo wants the opening of paragraph 3 to connect to the benefits in paragraph 2. Which revision does that best?

    • Revise [10]: “Even so, some staff members may worry that the barrels will overflow during storms or look untidy beside the gym.”
    • Add before [10]: “The barrels would save the club money, reduce runoff, and cost very little to install.”
    • Revise [10]: “As a result, some staff members may worry that the barrels will overflow during storms or look untidy beside the gym.”
    • Cut [9], so paragraph 2 ends with the custodian's agreement and paragraph 3 begins with the staff members' worry.

  11. Rain Barrels for the School Garden (letter to Principal Alvarez) (student draft: proposal letter)

    [1] Each spring, the science club waters the school garden with hoses attached to the main water line, and the cost of that water is added to the utility bill. [2] I am writing to propose that the school install two rain barrels beneath the downspouts of the east gym roof, which drains into one corner of the schoolyard. [3] A roof with a thousand square feet of surface sheds about six hundred gallons for every inch of rain. [4] Most of that water now runs across the pavement into the storm drain. [5] Two barrels holding fifty-five gallons each would catch only a fraction of it, but the club estimates that its beds need about one hundred gallons in a typical dry week.

    [6] According to the hardware catalog the club consulted, two barrels with spigots and screens would cost about one hundred and twenty dollars. [7] Parent volunteers have offered to build the stands. [8] The custodian, Mr. Okafor, has agreed to check the screens each month so that mosquitoes cannot breed in standing water. [9] Collected rainwater would also reduce the runoff that carries soil and fertilizer from the schoolyard into the storm drain.

    [10] Some staff members may worry that the barrels will overflow during storms or look untidy beside the gym. [11] Each barrel includes an overflow hose that can be aimed at the garden bed, so excess water would soak into the soil instead of the pavement. [12] The stands could be painted by art students to match the brick, which would make the barrels look better and show off how good our art program is. [13] I would be glad to present the club's plan at the next meeting of the facilities committee. [14] I hope you will agree that the barrels are the obvious choice and approve them before the spring planting. Change shown: Before, [3] and [4] read: A roof with a thousand square feet of surface sheds about six hundred gallons for every inch of rain. Most of that water now runs across the pavement into the storm drain. After, they read as one sentence: A roof with a thousand square feet of surface sheds about six hundred gallons for every inch of rain, and most of that water now runs across the pavement into the storm drain.

  12. Noah compares two versions of [3] and [4]. Which note best describes the change and what it does for the reader?

    • Combine: joining them shows that the east gym roof sheds more water than any other roof at the school.
    • Cut: the detail about the pavement is gone, so the sentence now covers just what the roof sheds.
    • Combine: the two sentences become one, so the loss of the water reads as part of the same fact.
    • Reword: the sentence now gives the club's estimate of its water needs, so it supports the cost argument.

  13. Rain Barrels for the School Garden (letter to Principal Alvarez) (student draft: proposal letter)

    [1] Each spring, the science club waters the school garden with hoses attached to the main water line, and the cost of that water is added to the utility bill. [2] I am writing to propose that the school install two rain barrels beneath the downspouts of the east gym roof, which drains into one corner of the schoolyard. [3] A roof with a thousand square feet of surface sheds about six hundred gallons for every inch of rain. [4] Most of that water now runs across the pavement into the storm drain. [5] Two barrels holding fifty-five gallons each would catch only a fraction of it, but the club estimates that its beds need about one hundred gallons in a typical dry week.

    [6] According to the hardware catalog the club consulted, two barrels with spigots and screens would cost about one hundred and twenty dollars. [7] Parent volunteers have offered to build the stands. [8] The custodian, Mr. Okafor, has agreed to check the screens each month so that mosquitoes cannot breed in standing water. [9] Collected rainwater would also reduce the runoff that carries soil and fertilizer from the schoolyard into the storm drain.

    [10] Some staff members may worry that the barrels will overflow during storms or look untidy beside the gym. [11] Each barrel includes an overflow hose that can be aimed at the garden bed, so excess water would soak into the soil instead of the pavement. [12] The stands could be painted by art students to match the brick, which would make the barrels look better and show off how good our art program is. [13] I would be glad to present the club's plan at the next meeting of the facilities committee. [14] I hope you will agree that the barrels are the obvious choice and approve them before the spring planting.

  14. Pia wants [12] to suit a proposal addressed to a principal. Which revision of [12] does that best?

    • Art students could paint the stands to match the brick, so the barrels would look really nice next to the gym.
    • Painted stands would turn the barrels into a showpiece that attracts visitors from across the district to the school garden each spring.
    • The stands could be painted by art students to match the brick, which would also give the school a small display of student work.
    • The art teacher should assign the stands as a class project, and students should be required to help paint them.

  15. Ren wants [6] to connect to the garden's water needs in [5]. Which revision does that best?

    • Add before [6]: “The barrels would hold enough water to cover the club's needs during a typical dry week.”
    • Cut [5], so paragraph 1 ends with the roof's runoff and paragraph 2 begins directly with the cost of the barrels.
    • Revise [6]: “Given that need, the price is modest: two barrels with spigots and screens would cost about one hundred and twenty dollars.”
    • Revise [6]: “Although the club needs about one hundred gallons a week, two barrels with spigots and screens would cost about one hundred and twenty dollars.”

  16. Zee wants [14] to close a proposal to a principal. Which revision of [14] fits the reader and purpose best?

    • Please approve the barrels by Friday, or the club will have to take its proposal to the school board.
    • Approving the barrels will fix the school's water problems and help the whole district save water.
    • Let me know what you think, because I'm sure you'll love how much the garden will grow with these barrels this spring.
    • I hope you will consider the proposal and let me know whether the club may present its plan before the spring planting.