Cut the extra words, fix the muddled comparison

Grade 9 Reading Worksheet - Challenge Me

Circle the best answer.

1. Read this first

   Draft

   Walking along the river, the destruction of the old mill was evident to the survey team in the spring of 2021.

2. 1.

   Ari edits a sentence for a town report. It has a dangling modifier and a wordy noun phrase. Which revision fixes both and keeps every fact?

   • Walking along the river in spring 2021, the survey team saw that the old mill had been destroyed.
   • Walking along the river, the old mill's destruction was seen by the survey team in spring 2021.
   • Walking along the river in spring 2021, the survey team saw the destruction of the old mill.
   • Walking along the river, the survey team saw that the old mill had been destroyed.

3. Draft

   The greenhouse with LED lamps grew way more lettuce than the one with fluorescent tubes, which was kind of a surprise given the cost.

4. 2.

   Bo edits a sentence for a lab report. It has a faulty comparison and a casual phrase that does not fit the tone. Which revision fixes both?

   • The LED greenhouse grew way more lettuce than the fluorescent greenhouse did, which was kind of a surprise given the cost.
   • The LED greenhouse grew considerably more lettuce than the fluorescent greenhouse did, a result that was surprising given the cost.
   • The LED greenhouse grew considerably more lettuce than the fluorescent greenhouse did, a surprising result.
   • The greenhouse with LED lamps grew considerably more lettuce than the one with fluorescent tubes, a surprising result given the cost.

5. Draft

   The new schedule will shorten lunch, extend each class by an additional five more minutes, and students will end the day at 3:15.

6. 3.

   Esme edits a sentence for a school paper. It has faulty parallelism and a redundant pair. Which revision fixes both and keeps every fact?

   • The new schedule will shorten lunch, extend each class by an additional five more minutes, and end the day at 3:15.
   • The new schedule will shorten lunch, extend each class by five more minutes, and end the day at 3:15.
   • The new schedule will shorten lunch, extend each class, and end the day at 3:15.
   • The new schedule will shorten lunch, extend each class by five more minutes, and students will end the day at 3:15.

7. Draft

   The orchestra had a rehearsal on Thursday. The rehearsal was held in the gym because the auditorium floor was being refinished, and it ran two hours.

8. 4.

   Kira trims a two-sentence draft for a newsletter. Which revision is concise, varies the sentences and keeps every fact?

   • The orchestra had a rehearsal on Thursday; the rehearsal was held in the gym for two hours because the auditorium floor was being refinished.
   • Because the auditorium floor was being refinished, the orchestra rehearsed in the gym on Friday for two hours.
   • Because the auditorium floor was being refinished, the orchestra rehearsed in the gym on Thursday.
   • Because the auditorium floor was being refinished, the orchestra rehearsed in the gym on Thursday for two hours.

9. Draft

   Registration closes on March 3. After March 3, no new members can join the chess club until the fall, and the fee is $15.

10. 5.

    Milo trims a two-sentence draft for a club website. Which revision is concise, varies the sentences and keeps every fact?

    • Registration for the $15 chess club closes March 3; no new members can join until the fall.
    • Registration closes on March 3, and after March 3, no new members can join the chess club until the fall, for a fee of $15.
    • Registration for the chess club closes March 3; no new members can join until the fall.
    • Registration for the $15 chess club closes March 3; no new members can join until the spring.

11. Draft

    This vase was made by an unknown potter around 1850. It is a vase that has a blue glaze, and the glaze is cracked in places.

12. 6.

    Noah trims a two-sentence draft for a museum label. Which revision is concise and keeps every fact and a formal tone?

    • This vase, made by an unknown potter around 1850, is a vase that has a blue glaze cracked in places.
    • Made by an unknown potter around 1850, this vase has a blue glaze that is crazed across the entire surface.
    • This vase, made around 1850, has a blue glaze that is cracked in places.
    • Made by an unknown potter around 1850, this vase has a blue glaze that is cracked in places.

13. Draft

    The principal made an announcement that the school would be closed on Monday, and everyone was glad. Revision: The principal announced that the school would close on Monday, and everyone was glad.

14. 7.

    Pia compares a revision with a draft from a school newsletter. Which statement best explains what the revision accomplishes?

    • It is clearer because it has fewer words than the draft did, and readers prefer short sentences.
    • It moves the reaction to the front of the sentence, so the mood of the announcement comes first.
    • It swaps the noun phrase for the verb announced and tightens close, keeping every fact.
    • It fixes a list whose items do not match in form, joining the announcement and the reaction.

15. Draft

    Samples were collected, and then the data were recorded, and after that the team returned to the lab. Revision: The team collected the samples, recorded the data and returned to the lab.

16. 8.

    Ren compares a revision with a draft from a science paper. Which statement best explains what the revision accomplishes?

    • It reorders the steps, moving the lab visit ahead of the recording, so the order is more logical.
    • It is clearer because it joins three separate clauses into a single, tidier sentence.
    • It names the team, makes the three steps parallel and active, and cuts the linking words.
    • It fixes a faulty comparison between the samples collected and the data recorded.

17. Draft

    Cities that plant trees, which cool the air, have fewer heat-related illnesses than parks. Revision: Cities that plant trees, which cool the air, have fewer heat-related illnesses than cities that do not.

18. 9.

    Tala compares a revision with a draft from an editorial. Which statement best explains what the revision accomplishes?

    • It is stronger because the revision is a longer sentence.
    • It adds a reason, the cooling of the air, that the draft left out.
    • It compares cities with cities instead of with parks, so both sides match.
    • It cuts a repeated phrase that appeared twice in the draft.

19. Draft

    I would like to take this opportunity to say that we should perhaps think about possibly extending the library's hours. Revision: The library's hours should be extended.

20. 10.

    Zee compares a revision with a draft from a letter to the editor. Which statement best explains what the revision accomplishes?

    • It is clearer because short sentences are more convincing than long ones, whatever they say.
    • It states the request directly by cutting the opening phrase and stacked hedges.
    • It changes who the request is about, moving it from the library to the school's schedule.
    • It fixes a dangling modifier at the start of the draft by naming who would think about the hours.