Cut the extra words, fix the muddled comparison

Grade 9 Reading Worksheet - Challenge Me

Circle the best answer.

1. Read this first

   Draft

   Walking along the river, the destruction of the old mill was evident to the survey team in the spring of 2021.

2. 1.

   Ari edits a sentence for a town report. It has a dangling modifier and a wordy noun phrase. Which revision fixes both and keeps every fact?

   • Walking along the river, the old mill's destruction was seen by the survey team in spring 2021.
   • Walking along the river in spring 2021, the survey team saw the destruction of the old mill.
   • Walking along the river, the survey team saw that the old mill had been destroyed.
   • Walking along the river in spring 2021, the survey team saw that the old mill had been destroyed.

3. Draft

   The greenhouse with LED lamps grew way more lettuce than the one with fluorescent tubes, which was kind of a surprise given the cost.

4. 2.

   Bo edits a sentence for a lab report. It has a faulty comparison and a casual phrase that does not fit the tone. Which revision fixes both?

   • The greenhouse with LED lamps grew considerably more lettuce than the one with fluorescent tubes, a surprising result given the cost.
   • The LED greenhouse grew way more lettuce than the fluorescent greenhouse did, which was kind of a surprise given the cost.
   • The LED greenhouse grew considerably more lettuce than the fluorescent greenhouse did, a surprising result.
   • The LED greenhouse grew considerably more lettuce than the fluorescent greenhouse did, a result that was surprising given the cost.

5. Draft

   When Ms. Alvarez showed Dr. Brandt the rough draft, she made the decision to rewrite the opening, which took up about two hours of time.

6. 3.

   Jun edits a sentence from an essay. It has an unclear pronoun and a wordy phrase. Which revision fixes both and keeps every fact?

   • When Ms. Alvarez showed Dr. Brandt the rough draft, Ms. Alvarez decided to rewrite the opening, which took about two hours.
   • When Ms. Alvarez showed Dr. Brandt the rough draft, Ms. Alvarez decided to rewrite the opening.
   • When Ms. Alvarez showed Dr. Brandt the rough draft, she decided to rewrite the opening, which took about two hours.
   • When Ms. Alvarez showed Dr. Brandt the rough draft, Ms. Alvarez made the decision to rewrite the opening, which took about two hours.

7. Draft

   The orchestra had a rehearsal on Thursday. The rehearsal was held in the gym because the auditorium floor was being refinished, and it ran two hours.

8. 4.

   Kira trims a two-sentence draft for a newsletter. Which revision is concise, varies the sentences and keeps every fact?

   • Because the auditorium floor was being refinished, the orchestra rehearsed in the gym on Thursday for two hours.
   • Because the auditorium floor was being refinished, the orchestra rehearsed in the gym on Friday for two hours.
   • Because the auditorium floor was being refinished, the orchestra rehearsed in the gym on Thursday.
   • The orchestra had a rehearsal on Thursday; the rehearsal was held in the gym for two hours because the auditorium floor was being refinished.

9. Draft

   The results seem to suggest that the plants near the window might have grown taller. This difference could possibly be due to light, but more testing is needed.

10. 5.

    Luz trims a two-sentence draft for a science fair booklet. Which revision is concise and keeps every fact and the writer's cautious tone?

    • The plants near the window grew taller, perhaps because of light.
    • The results seem to suggest that the plants near the window might have grown taller, possibly because of light, but more testing is needed.
    • The plants near the window may have grown taller, perhaps because of light, but more testing is needed.
    • The plants near the window grew taller because of light, but more testing is needed.

11. Draft

    Registration closes on March 3. After March 3, no new members can join the chess club until the fall, and the fee is $15.

12. 6.

    Milo trims a two-sentence draft for a club website. Which revision is concise, varies the sentences and keeps every fact?

    • Registration for the $15 chess club closes March 3; no new members can join until the fall.
    • Registration for the $15 chess club closes March 3; no new members can join until the spring.
    • Registration closes on March 3, and after March 3, no new members can join the chess club until the fall, for a fee of $15.
    • Registration for the chess club closes March 3; no new members can join until the fall.

13. Draft

    This vase was made by an unknown potter around 1850. It is a vase that has a blue glaze, and the glaze is cracked in places.

14. 7.

    Noah trims a two-sentence draft for a museum label. Which revision is concise and keeps every fact and a formal tone?

    • Made by an unknown potter around 1850, this vase has a blue glaze that is crazed across the entire surface.
    • Made by an unknown potter around 1850, this vase has a blue glaze that is cracked in places.
    • This vase, made around 1850, has a blue glaze that is cracked in places.
    • This vase, made by an unknown potter around 1850, is a vase that has a blue glaze cracked in places.

15. Draft

    The principal made an announcement that the school would be closed on Monday, and everyone was glad. Revision: The principal announced that the school would close on Monday, and everyone was glad.

16. 8.

    Pia compares a revision with a draft from a school newsletter. Which statement best explains what the revision accomplishes?

    • It is clearer because it has fewer words than the draft did, and readers prefer short sentences.
    • It moves the reaction to the front of the sentence, so the mood of the announcement comes first.
    • It swaps the noun phrase for the verb announced and tightens close, keeping every fact.
    • It fixes a list whose items do not match in form, joining the announcement and the reaction.

17. Draft

    Cities that plant trees, which cool the air, have fewer heat-related illnesses than parks. Revision: Cities that plant trees, which cool the air, have fewer heat-related illnesses than cities that do not.

18. 9.

    Tala compares a revision with a draft from an editorial. Which statement best explains what the revision accomplishes?

    • It adds a reason, the cooling of the air, that the draft left out.
    • It cuts a repeated phrase that appeared twice in the draft.
    • It is stronger because the revision is a longer sentence.
    • It compares cities with cities instead of with parks, so both sides match.

19. Draft

    I would like to take this opportunity to say that we should perhaps think about possibly extending the library's hours. Revision: The library's hours should be extended.

20. 10.

    Zee compares a revision with a draft from a letter to the editor. Which statement best explains what the revision accomplishes?

    • It fixes a dangling modifier at the start of the draft by naming who would think about the hours.
    • It is clearer because short sentences are more convincing than long ones, whatever they say.
    • It states the request directly by cutting the opening phrase and stacked hedges.
    • It changes who the request is about, moving it from the library to the school's schedule.