Revise and edit a draft

Grade 9 Reading Worksheet

Circle the best answer.

1. Read this first

   Open the Reading Room on Saturdays (student draft: argument for the school board)

   [1] The Millbrook branch library asks the school board to fund Saturday hours for the high school reading room, a change that would cost about $6,400 a year. [2] Opponents argue that students can already use the school library on weekdays, so the money would be better spent elsewhere. [3] That argument overlooks which students need weekend hours most.

   [4] Roughly one in five Millbrook students has no dependable internet connection at home, and a student in that position cannot finish a research assignment without a quiet place that has computers. [5] The town library closes at noon on Saturdays. [6] That distance puts the lab out of reach for students without cars. [7] The next closest public computer lab is in Harlan, eleven miles away. [8] A Saturday reading room would give those students a place to work within walking distance of home.

   [9] Weekend access also matters for students who hold jobs during the school week. [10] Opponents also call the plan too expensive, but the cost is modest when it is compared with other district expenses. [11] The reading room's provision of computer access to students who lack internet at home would result in an improvement in the rate at which research assignments are completed. [12] For these reasons, the board should fund Saturday hours at the high school reading room for the coming school year.

2. 1.

   Sentence [6] begins with That distance before any distance has been named. Where should Zee move [6]?

   • After [7], because That distance must follow the eleven miles it names, and those students in [8] then follow the students without cars.
   • Before [5], so that the distance comes first and the library's closing time then explains why the lab matters.
   • Leave [6] and move [5] to follow [7], so that the closing time comes just before the plan to open the reading room on Saturdays.
   • After [8], so that the reading room is introduced first and the reader then learns why the computer lab in Harlan is out of reach.
3. 2.

   Bo wants sentence [11] shorter and clearer without changing its claim. Which revision does that?

   • Computer access provided by the reading room to students who lack home internet would result in improved completion of their research assignments.
   • Computer access at the reading room would guarantee that students who lack home internet finish their research assignments.
   • Computer access at the reading room would help students who lack home internet finish their research assignments.
   • Computer access at the reading room would help students finish their research assignments more quickly.
4. 3.

   Sentence [10] says the cost is modest but gives no comparison. Which sentence should Tala add after [10] to support it?

   • Students who use a quiet reading room on weekends, at a cost of about $10 each, report finishing more assignments on time.
   • The $6,400 would equal about one-tenth of one percent of the district's $6.2 million operating budget.
   • The district's operating budget of $6.2 million is approved by the school board each spring after two public hearings.
   • Compared with many other items the district pays for each year, a cost of $6,400 is small and well within the board's means.

5. A Second Recycling Station (student draft: report for the student council)

   [1] This report recommends that the student council spend $540 on a second recycling and compost station for the cafeteria. [2] During the last week of October, a team of six volunteers sorted everything thrown away after each lunch period. [3] Only 103 of the 212 pounds, then, had to be thrown away.

   [4] Of the 212 pounds of waste they collected, 71 pounds were clean paper, cardboard and aluminum that the school's recycling contract accepts. [5] Another 38 pounds were milk cartons and food scraps that could go to the garden's compost bins. [6] The remaining 103 pounds were true trash.

   [7] That placement is the likely reason so much recyclable material ends up in the trash, since students must cross the room with full trays to reach the station. [8] The cafeteria's one recycling station sits beside the east door, the farthest point from where most students finish eating. [9] A second station near the center of the room would likely increase how much students recycle.

   [10] Implementation of the second station would require the purchase of two bins, a sign and a mounting bracket, for a total cost of $540. [11] Volunteers from the environmental club have offered to empty the bins each day, so the station would add no work for the custodians. [12] We ask the council to approve the $540 at its November meeting.

6. 4.

   Noah wants sentence [10] shorter and clearer without changing its claim. Which revision does that?

   • The second station needs two bins and a sign, with the mounting bracket an optional extra, for a total of $540.
   • The second station needs two bins, a sign and a mounting bracket, which the council can buy this month.
   • Implementation of the second station would require buying two bins, a sign and a mounting bracket, for a total cost of $540.
   • The second station needs two bins, a sign and a mounting bracket, for a total of $540.
7. 5.

   Sentence [9] predicts that a second station would raise recycling. Which sentence should Luz add after [9] as evidence?

   • The center of the room is where the lunch line ends, so each student passes that spot on the way to a table or to the east door.
   • Six volunteers from the environmental club could empty the new bins in under ten minutes after each lunch period.
   • When volunteers set a temporary bin at the center of the room for two days, the recycling collected rose from 9 pounds to 21 pounds.
   • Students generally recycle more when bins are easy to reach, as many schools have found when they moved their bins closer to the tables.
8. 6.

   Sentence [7] opens with That placement before any placement is named. Where should Esme move [7]?

   • After [8], because That placement must follow the sentence that says where the station sits.
   • Leave [7] and move [9] to the front of the paragraph, so that the proposal comes before its reasons.
   • After [9], so that the reason for the low numbers follows the proposal.
   • Leave [7] first, because That placement can point back to the second station named in [1].

9. The Bridge on Cedar Street (student draft: feature article for the school website)

   [1] For more than a century, the Cedar Street footbridge has carried students across the Alder River on their way to Westfield High School. [2] A crew from the Alder Ironworks completed the iron span in 1912 for $3,800, a sum that the town paid in two installments over the following year. [3] The bridge was needed because the river floods each spring, and the old ford beside it was impassable for weeks at a time, leaving students stranded on the far bank.

   [4] By 1985, however, rust had cracked two of the iron beams, and the town closed the bridge for the first time. [5] Because the walk was so inconvenient, students and parents organized a campaign that raised $41,000 in eleven months. [6] That closure forced students to walk a mile and a half to the nearest crossing, on Route 9. [7] The money paid for new beams, which were installed in 1987.

   [8] When inspectors reported to the council members in 2019 that rust had thinned the beams by 18 percent, they closed the bridge again. [9] In the year 2019, there was a decision made by the town council to replace the deck and the railings at a cost that was close to $212,000. [10] The bridge has also become a symbol of what the town can accomplish when residents of every age work together toward a common purpose. [11] Today the bridge carries about 400 students on a typical school day, and most of the iron beams from 1912 still bear its weight. [12] A plaque at the north end of the bridge lists the donors who made the 1987 repair possible.

10. 7.

    Sentence [8] has a they that could mean two groups. Which revision removes that problem and keeps every fact?

    • In 2019, inspectors reported that rust had thinned the beams, and the council members closed the bridge again.
    • In 2019, inspectors closed the bridge again after reporting that rust had thinned the beams by 18 percent.
    • When inspectors reported to the council in 2019 that rust had thinned the beams by 18 percent, they closed the bridge again.
    • In 2019, inspectors reported that rust had thinned the beams by 18 percent, and the council members closed the bridge again.
11. 8.

    Sentence [10] calls the bridge a symbol of working together. Which sentence should Milo add after [10] as evidence?

    • The bridge is about 112 feet long, and its first span cost $3,800 in 1912, a sum the town paid in two installments.
    • More than 200 residents gave to the 1987 repair, and in 2019 the same neighborhood groups raised $14,000 toward the new deck.
    • Many residents have given $5 or $10 or a few hours over the years, and their work has not gone unnoticed by the town.
    • Because the bridge saves students a walk of a mile and a half, families have counted on it since the $3,800 span opened in 1912.
12. 9.

    Sentence [5] refers to a walk that [6] introduces. How should Jun fix the order?

    • Move [6] to the start of the paragraph, before [4], so that the walk comes first.
    • Move [4] to follow [6], so that the walk comes right after the cracked beams.
    • Move [5] to follow [7], so that the campaign comes right before the new beams that the campaign paid for.
    • Move [6] to just before [5], so that the walk is introduced before the campaign that grew out of it.
13. 10.

    Kira wants sentence [9] shorter and clearer without changing its facts. Which revision does that?

    • In 2019, the town council voted to replace the deck and railings for about $212,000.
    • In 2019, a decision was made by the town council to replace the deck and railings at a cost of about $212,000.
    • In 2019, the town council voted to replace the deck and railings, a decision the town paid for.
    • In 2019, the town council spent more than $212,000 to replace the deck and the railings.