Revise and edit a draft
Grade 8 Reading Worksheet - Building Confidence
Circle the best answer.
Read this first
What Wetlands Do for a Watershed (student draft: informative)
[1] Wetlands, which include marshes, swamps, and bogs, are places where water covers the soil or lies near the surface for much of the year. [2] Thick mats of roots and decaying plants hold water like a sponge. [3] This slows the runoff that rushes toward rivers after heavy rain. [4] One acre of wetland can store as much as one and a half million gallons of floodwater, according to the Environmental Protection Agency. [5] That water is released gradually, so downstream towns face lower flood crests and streams keep flowing through dry spells.
[6] Wetlands also improve the quality of the water that passes through them. [7] Plants and microbes in the mud absorb nitrogen from fertilizer, which traps pollution before it can feed overgrowths of algae in lakes. [8] Sediment also settles out as the current slows, leaving clearer water for the stream below. [9] Researchers have measured these effects most carefully in constructed wetlands, which engineers build beside farms and sewage plants.
[10] The United States has lost roughly half of its original wetlands since European settlement, mostly to farmland and development. [11] Conservation programs now pay landowners to restore drained fields, and restored wetlands often begin filtering water within a few years. [12] Protecting the wetlands that remain costs far less than building the flood walls and treatment plants that would replace them. [13] Seen this way, wetlands are free infrastructure that does everything a town would otherwise have to buy.
Ari wants to improve the link between paragraphs 2 and 3 while keeping the draft informative. Which revision does that best?
- Cut [9], so paragraph 2 ends with the sediment sentence and paragraph 3 begins directly with the loss of wetlands.
- Add after [9]: “These services depend on wetlands staying intact, which makes the scale of their loss important to understand.”
- Add after [9]: “Wetlands also shelter many species of birds, fish, and amphibians that need their shallow water to survive and breed.”
- Add after [9]: “Constructed wetlands treat wastewater by trapping nutrients and sediment, much as natural wetlands do.”
What Wetlands Do for a Watershed (student draft: informative)
[1] Wetlands, which include marshes, swamps, and bogs, are places where water covers the soil or lies near the surface for much of the year. [2] Thick mats of roots and decaying plants hold water like a sponge. [3] This slows the runoff that rushes toward rivers after heavy rain. [4] One acre of wetland can store as much as one and a half million gallons of floodwater, according to the Environmental Protection Agency. [5] That water is released gradually, so downstream towns face lower flood crests and streams keep flowing through dry spells.
[6] Wetlands also improve the quality of the water that passes through them. [7] Plants and microbes in the mud absorb nitrogen from fertilizer, which traps pollution before it can feed overgrowths of algae in lakes. [8] Sediment also settles out as the current slows, leaving clearer water for the stream below. [9] Researchers have measured these effects most carefully in constructed wetlands, which engineers build beside farms and sewage plants.
[10] The United States has lost roughly half of its original wetlands since European settlement, mostly to farmland and development. [11] Conservation programs now pay landowners to restore drained fields, and restored wetlands often begin filtering water within a few years. [12] Protecting the wetlands that remain costs far less than building the flood walls and treatment plants that would replace them. [13] Seen this way, wetlands are free infrastructure that does everything a town would otherwise have to buy. Change shown: Before, [5] reads: That water is released gradually, so downstream towns face lower flood crests and streams keep flowing through dry spells. After, it reads: Because that water is released gradually, downstream towns face lower flood crests, and streams keep flowing through dry spells.
Bo compares two versions of [5]. Which note best describes the change and what it does for the reader?
- Reword: the sentence now leads with the cause, and no fact is added or lost.
- Reword: “Because” makes the gradual release a stronger guarantee against flooding than the original sentence claimed.
- Cut: the point about dry spells is gone, so the sentence now covers just the effect of wetlands on floods.
- Reword: the sentence now names its source for the claim, so the information reads as more official than before.
What Wetlands Do for a Watershed (student draft: informative)
[1] Wetlands, which include marshes, swamps, and bogs, are places where water covers the soil or lies near the surface for much of the year. [2] Thick mats of roots and decaying plants hold water like a sponge. [3] This slows the runoff that rushes toward rivers after heavy rain. [4] One acre of wetland can store as much as one and a half million gallons of floodwater, according to the Environmental Protection Agency. [5] That water is released gradually, so downstream towns face lower flood crests and streams keep flowing through dry spells.
[6] Wetlands also improve the quality of the water that passes through them. [7] Plants and microbes in the mud absorb nitrogen from fertilizer, which traps pollution before it can feed overgrowths of algae in lakes. [8] Sediment also settles out as the current slows, leaving clearer water for the stream below. [9] Researchers have measured these effects most carefully in constructed wetlands, which engineers build beside farms and sewage plants.
[10] The United States has lost roughly half of its original wetlands since European settlement, mostly to farmland and development. [11] Conservation programs now pay landowners to restore drained fields, and restored wetlands often begin filtering water within a few years. [12] Protecting the wetlands that remain costs far less than building the flood walls and treatment plants that would replace them. [13] Seen this way, wetlands are free infrastructure that does everything a town would otherwise have to buy.
Esme wants [13] to close the draft accurately. Which revision of [13] fits an informative draft best?
- Seen this way, a wetland functions as natural infrastructure, doing several jobs that a town would otherwise pay engineers to do.
- Seen this way, towns should protect their wetlands before they spend money on flood walls and treatment plants.
- Seen this way, wetlands replace flood walls and treatment plants entirely, at no cost to the town that keeps them and relies on them.
- Seen this way, wetlands are a smart bargain that does the jobs a town would otherwise have to buy for itself.
Jun wants [11] to connect to the loss described in [10]. Which revision does that best?
- Revise [11]: “For example, conservation programs now pay landowners to restore drained fields, and restored wetlands often begin filtering water within a few years.”
- Add before [11]: “Most of the original wetlands were drained for farmland and development over about two centuries.”
- Cut [10], so paragraph 3 begins directly with the restoration programs and the benefits of restored wetlands.
- Revise [11]: “In response, conservation programs now pay landowners to restore drained fields, and restored wetlands often begin filtering water within a few years.”
What Wetlands Do for a Watershed (student draft: informative)
[1] Wetlands, which include marshes, swamps, and bogs, are places where water covers the soil or lies near the surface for much of the year. [2] Thick mats of roots and decaying plants hold water like a sponge. [3] This slows the runoff that rushes toward rivers after heavy rain. [4] One acre of wetland can store as much as one and a half million gallons of floodwater, according to the Environmental Protection Agency. [5] That water is released gradually, so downstream towns face lower flood crests and streams keep flowing through dry spells.
[6] Wetlands also improve the quality of the water that passes through them. [7] Plants and microbes in the mud absorb nitrogen from fertilizer, which traps pollution before it can feed overgrowths of algae in lakes. [8] Sediment also settles out as the current slows, leaving clearer water for the stream below. [9] Researchers have measured these effects most carefully in constructed wetlands, which engineers build beside farms and sewage plants.
[10] The United States has lost roughly half of its original wetlands since European settlement, mostly to farmland and development. [11] Conservation programs now pay landowners to restore drained fields, and restored wetlands often begin filtering water within a few years. [12] Protecting the wetlands that remain costs far less than building the flood walls and treatment plants that would replace them. [13] Seen this way, wetlands are free infrastructure that does everything a town would otherwise have to buy. Change shown: Before, [9] reads: Researchers have measured these effects most carefully in constructed wetlands, which engineers build beside farms and sewage plants. After, it reads: Researchers have measured these effects most carefully in constructed wetlands.
Kira compares two versions of [9]. Which note best describes the change and what it does for the reader?
- Cut: the clause is gone, which shows that natural wetlands have not been measured as carefully as constructed ones.
- Move: the clause about farms and sewage plants now appears earlier in the paragraph, which makes the point easier to find.
- Reword: the sentence keeps its meaning in fewer words, so nothing the reader needs has been lost.
- Cut: the clause explaining what constructed wetlands are is gone, so the reader loses that definition.
Rain Barrels for the School Garden (letter to Principal Alvarez) (student draft: proposal letter)
[1] Each spring, the science club waters the school garden with hoses attached to the main water line, and the cost of that water is added to the utility bill. [2] I am writing to propose that the school install two rain barrels beneath the downspouts of the east gym roof, which drains into one corner of the schoolyard. [3] A roof with a thousand square feet of surface sheds about six hundred gallons for every inch of rain. [4] Most of that water now runs across the pavement into the storm drain. [5] Two barrels holding fifty-five gallons each would catch only a fraction of it, but the club estimates that its beds need about one hundred gallons in a typical dry week.
[6] According to the hardware catalog the club consulted, two barrels with spigots and screens would cost about one hundred and twenty dollars. [7] Parent volunteers have offered to build the stands. [8] The custodian, Mr. Okafor, has agreed to check the screens each month so that mosquitoes cannot breed in standing water. [9] Collected rainwater would also reduce the runoff that carries soil and fertilizer from the schoolyard into the storm drain.
[10] Some staff members may worry that the barrels will overflow during storms or look untidy beside the gym. [11] Each barrel includes an overflow hose that can be aimed at the garden bed, so excess water would soak into the soil instead of the pavement. [12] The stands could be painted by art students to match the brick, which would make the barrels look better and show off how good our art program is. [13] I would be glad to present the club's plan at the next meeting of the facilities committee. [14] I hope you will agree that the barrels are the obvious choice and approve them before the spring planting.
Milo wants the opening of paragraph 3 to connect to the benefits in paragraph 2. Which revision does that best?
- Revise [10]: “Even so, some staff members may worry that the barrels will overflow during storms or look untidy beside the gym.”
- Revise [10]: “As a result, some staff members may worry that the barrels will overflow during storms or look untidy beside the gym.”
- Add before [10]: “The barrels would save the club money, reduce runoff, and cost very little to install.”
- Cut [9], so paragraph 2 ends with the custodian's agreement and paragraph 3 begins with the staff members' worry.
Pia wants [12] to suit a proposal addressed to a principal. Which revision of [12] does that best?
- The stands could be painted by art students to match the brick, which would also give the school a small display of student work.
- The art teacher should assign the stands as a class project, and students should be required to help paint them.
- Painted stands would turn the barrels into a showpiece that attracts visitors from across the district to the school garden each spring.
- Art students could paint the stands to match the brick, so the barrels would look really nice next to the gym.
Ren wants [6] to connect to the garden's water needs in [5]. Which revision does that best?
- Cut [5], so paragraph 1 ends with the roof's runoff and paragraph 2 begins directly with the cost of the barrels.
- Revise [6]: “Although the club needs about one hundred gallons a week, two barrels with spigots and screens would cost about one hundred and twenty dollars.”
- Revise [6]: “Given that need, the price is modest: two barrels with spigots and screens would cost about one hundred and twenty dollars.”
- Add before [6]: “The barrels would hold enough water to cover the club's needs during a typical dry week.”
Rain Barrels for the School Garden (letter to Principal Alvarez) (student draft: proposal letter)
[1] Each spring, the science club waters the school garden with hoses attached to the main water line, and the cost of that water is added to the utility bill. [2] I am writing to propose that the school install two rain barrels beneath the downspouts of the east gym roof, which drains into one corner of the schoolyard. [3] A roof with a thousand square feet of surface sheds about six hundred gallons for every inch of rain. [4] Most of that water now runs across the pavement into the storm drain. [5] Two barrels holding fifty-five gallons each would catch only a fraction of it, but the club estimates that its beds need about one hundred gallons in a typical dry week.
[6] According to the hardware catalog the club consulted, two barrels with spigots and screens would cost about one hundred and twenty dollars. [7] Parent volunteers have offered to build the stands. [8] The custodian, Mr. Okafor, has agreed to check the screens each month so that mosquitoes cannot breed in standing water. [9] Collected rainwater would also reduce the runoff that carries soil and fertilizer from the schoolyard into the storm drain.
[10] Some staff members may worry that the barrels will overflow during storms or look untidy beside the gym. [11] Each barrel includes an overflow hose that can be aimed at the garden bed, so excess water would soak into the soil instead of the pavement. [12] The stands could be painted by art students to match the brick, which would make the barrels look better and show off how good our art program is. [13] I would be glad to present the club's plan at the next meeting of the facilities committee. [14] I hope you will agree that the barrels are the obvious choice and approve them before the spring planting. Change shown: Before, [8] reads: The custodian, Mr. Okafor, has agreed to check the screens each month so that mosquitoes cannot breed in standing water. After, it reads: The custodian, Mr. Okafor, has agreed to check the screens each month.
Tala compares two versions of [8]. Which note best describes the change and what it does for the reader?
- Cut: the clause is gone, which makes the custodian's job sound larger than it did before.
- Move: the purpose clause now opens the sentence, so the reason comes before the custodian's name.
- Cut: removing the clause shows that mosquitoes are not a real concern at the school.
- Cut: the purpose clause is gone, so the reader no longer learns why the screens are checked.
Rain Barrels for the School Garden (letter to Principal Alvarez) (student draft: proposal letter)
[1] Each spring, the science club waters the school garden with hoses attached to the main water line, and the cost of that water is added to the utility bill. [2] I am writing to propose that the school install two rain barrels beneath the downspouts of the east gym roof, which drains into one corner of the schoolyard. [3] A roof with a thousand square feet of surface sheds about six hundred gallons for every inch of rain. [4] Most of that water now runs across the pavement into the storm drain. [5] Two barrels holding fifty-five gallons each would catch only a fraction of it, but the club estimates that its beds need about one hundred gallons in a typical dry week.
[6] According to the hardware catalog the club consulted, two barrels with spigots and screens would cost about one hundred and twenty dollars. [7] Parent volunteers have offered to build the stands. [8] The custodian, Mr. Okafor, has agreed to check the screens each month so that mosquitoes cannot breed in standing water. [9] Collected rainwater would also reduce the runoff that carries soil and fertilizer from the schoolyard into the storm drain.
[10] Some staff members may worry that the barrels will overflow during storms or look untidy beside the gym. [11] Each barrel includes an overflow hose that can be aimed at the garden bed, so excess water would soak into the soil instead of the pavement. [12] The stands could be painted by art students to match the brick, which would make the barrels look better and show off how good our art program is. [13] I would be glad to present the club's plan at the next meeting of the facilities committee. [14] I hope you will agree that the barrels are the obvious choice and approve them before the spring planting.
Zee wants [14] to close a proposal to a principal. Which revision of [14] fits the reader and purpose best?
- Approving the barrels will fix the school's water problems and help the whole district save water.
- I hope you will consider the proposal and let me know whether the club may present its plan before the spring planting.
- Please approve the barrels by Friday, or the club will have to take its proposal to the school board.
- Let me know what you think, because I'm sure you'll love how much the garden will grow with these barrels this spring.
